Aneya & Lauren: Men (Part 2)

Aneya: So we decided now was the perfect time to revisit our Men Post. We wrote that post on February 14th, Valentine's Day, and we'd only had a handful of experiences with Chilean men to write about. Well. That was close to a month ago, and we've definitely had plenty of crazy experiences since then.

Lauren: So true. It was time for an update and we've got plenty of material.

Aneya: I mean, the jotes are still there, still hollering or whistling or whispering as we walk by. We're so used to them by now that they really are like background noise.

Lauren: Basically the jotes communicate in every way possible, and you know what? That's fine. You can say whatever you want from 10-feet or more, as long as there's no physical contact. Just plug in the iPod and that all becomes white noise.

Aneya: In our last post we wrote about the lack of "machismo" men here. Well, we spoke too soon. We found our machismos, or they found us, really. For some reason the first time we met them, their arrogance was charming, their bravado was impressive. Also, just talking with someone with ESL English is bound to enamor you, it's so unintentionally funny and cute.

Lauren: Oh, the ESL. It's so charming to hear people speak a little too properly, or mix things up just a little. It was cute, adorable. The machismo? Different than what we expected, so intriguing. Oh how things have changed.

Aneya: But the next time we met them, things started to change. They whispered to their friends right in front of us, they snickered, they laughed. They were downright rude. Then, they were appalled that Lauren and I ordered our own food, asked if the waitress if they had our favorite beer. They looked at us like we were crazy. And why? Because we're strong women and we know what we want? I guess. They couldn't take a joke, either. (Lauren told they were ordering like girls, too slowly. They weren't amused.)

Lauren: I made the mistake of likening our new friends to women who can't make up their minds. Apparently that's not OK here. Men are men, not to be likened to fickle, dainty women. And telling little inside jokes and snickering? It was like we were on a date with 13-year-olds.

Aneya: The one guy had a way of talking that made him sound condescending, egotistical and downright mean. Why hadn't we seen this the first time we met? We couldn't say. The guys didn't pay for our drinks, our food, thought we drank too much (2 beers at dinner!) oh and thought we needed some Spanish lessons. Gracias.

Lauren: I was having no part in the condescending bullshit. Really. We did get a little more emotional and touchy after the earthquake. Our nerves were on edge, but any way you looked at this behavior was just offensive. Where was that manly, chivalry when the check came? I'm all for paying my fair share, but if you're really set in stereotypical gender roles, get the check!

Aneya: Oh, and they also didn't want us to leave! After all the hostility and their nasty behavior, they wanted us to stay longer! We didn't. Just 20 more minutes, they said. Please! Oh fine, what the hell. I was the resident DJ, and that made me feel better. (That in-itself was a major deal. What? She's unplugging his phone to put in her own music! The audacity of these girls!) When we did finally leave, they were angry. They didn't walk us home. They didn't even say goodbye, actually, just watched us walk away.

Lauren: We were ballsy, assertive American woman, and these guys were just having no part of it. The one told me to just speak in Spanish. "You're just more feminine that way." And then he kept telling me what I want in a man. I know what I want, and it's not what you're telling me I should want. "You want a manly man. Trust me." Trust me? You're the expert on what women want? It was just blowing my mind.

Aneya: Now, I don't want to say all Chilean guys are like that. But that's one example of the Machismo complex I cannot stand! And they seem completely oblivious to their behavior, adding us on Facebook, asking when we're going to lunch. Lunch? Never, you fools!

Lauren: Never have I been so grateful Aneya and I do everything together. She had my back when we had to walk home alone at 2:30 a.m. because our new friends were pouting, and kept an eye on things.

Aneya: I've also met some really kind, caring Chileans too. One, who I'll call Pedro, is one of the sweetest, kindest people I've ever met. He's the opposite of Machismo, he's a gentleman. Lauren and I both ended up out with different guys one night. When we talked about it the next morning, we realized that we both needed someone to talk to, other than us. Just having someone else to lean on was a nice change of pace.

Lauren: Oh, there are definitely some really sweet Chileans, too. Nice, thoughtful people who listen and don't try to tell you How Things Are. It was so nice to be talking to people who listened again. Those other crazy Chileans were absolutely not what we were needing in our crazy emotional state after the earthquake. We were already emotional basketcases, and they're machismo was not what either of us were in the mood for.

Aneya: In any case, every country has their share of bad guys and good. Sometimes it's hard to differentiate the two. You just gotta get out there and find out for yourself.

-- Aneya & Lauren