So I've already talked about my experience learning Spanish here. It's a process, let me tell you. Those first few weeks it was just about learning the names of all the different coins (they all have nicknames, of course). Now, my understanding of Chilean Spanish is getting better, day by day. But I also have my crutch, Lauren, helping me out. She is the so-called "speaker". I just can't get up the nerve to speak here. It's not that I don't know the words, I do. Sometimes I get confused with verb conjugations, but I do have quite a bit of vocab down. It's just that I'm embarrassed because I know it's not going to be correct. And I want to speak properly, eloquently. I don't want to go all Tarzan on these poor people ("Me. Want. Food. You. Have?")
I want to be able to speak fluidly and have people understand me immediately. It's really frustrating. I want to speak Spanish like I speak French. With confidence and ease. I'm trying to think back on those first years in France. They must have been hard. But I was 12, and my younger self picked up French like a pro, (plus I was surrounded by my French family) and it's all just a blur after that. But this. This is hard.
It's also hard because I have no one to talk to. There's Lauren. There's Daniela. There's.....oh wait, that's it. And I speak English with both of them. The only people I can practice with are shop keepers and I don't want to burden them with my butchered Spanish.
People who know me know I love to talk. I'm super friendly and I love meeting new people, and I just love communicating, expressing ideas and opinions, having lively debates. I'm a Gemini, these are inherent traits within me. So it's been a real struggle here, being silent. Just listening. I'm getting better though. I'm hoping the longer I stay here, the more I'll open up, and start using my voice.
One would think that during this whole earthquake ordeal, my silence would be an issue. But actually, it's been fine. During times of struggle, sometimes words aren't necessary. Just a nice big hug, a kiss on the cheek, a sympathetic smile. That's all people need. Just some reassurance that everything's gonna be okay. And I'm more than happy to give that to them.
-- Aneya
Not to get too technical on you but what you are experiencing is called your "affective filter" which is that urge to just listen and not speak with errors. My trick in Italy is to rehearse sentences that have to do with the situation and learn from it. Try your Spanish on shopkeepers. My take on people from other countries is that they love to help you and are pleased you are taking the time to learn their language.
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